I Won't Read It and You Can't Make Me!

Lists.

Everyone knows I am a big list-maker and that I continue to make countless lists such as:

• Actresses Who Could Play Me In The Made-For-TV-Movie (which would be a very boring movie)
• Things I Hate (the infamous bratwurst, Meryl Streep, Spiders list)
• Names For Future Children (Katharine, Marina, Sadie, Benjamin, Parker, Oliver... oh there's more)
• Things I'm Scared Of (which I'm not going to list in case someone decided to use them against me - worst case scenario planner right here)
  

But this list, today, is about the books and authors people keep recommending to me that I do not have any desire to read. And I know you are all thinking, "But you're a librarian! It's your duty to read books so you can recommend or not recommend them to patrons!"

But I tell you, you can not, will not make me read these.... EVER!

And maybe that's a little overdramatic and you're thinking I bet if said book is the last book in the world you would read it or If I told you to read the book or we will unleash a hoard of spiders on you (*shiver*) you will read it and maybe you're right on one part.

You know how I feel about spiders (see above Things I Hate list). But I imagine if there was a situation where it was the last book on earth that conditions might not be right to read that book anyway as I would probably be trying to survive and using the book for fire or as a weapon or to write on or use in other life saving methods.


But this list is about the books I don't ever want to or will I ever have any desire to read.

So, without further ado, the list.

• Anything by Mitch Albom (i.e. Tuesdays With Morrie)
• Danielle Steel
• Any more Nicholas Sparks (I tried one that nobody died in, The Rescue, but actually laughed out loud at a line in the book it was so ridiculous. Seriously, I've read historical romance novels that are better written)
• The Shack
• Anything by John Grisham (I suffered through his not lawyery one so I'm not even going to try the actual lawyery ones.
• Anything by Jodi Picoult (another Sparks situation - everything's always sad. If I wanted to cry again I'd watch Harry Potter 4, 5, or 6)
• Any fiction book by a political type person (This means you Glenn Beck)
• Jimmy Carter books
• Thomas books (those books are horrid. So long and boring and the kids want you to read every word. Blast that train!)
• Pretty much anything recommended by Oprah
• Karen Kingsbury
• Beverly Lewis

Please add your own or give suggestions.